I was born a house cat.

I’ve been having a weird week.

I don’t know why but i’m suddenly overwhelmed with desire to do creative things of all sorts. Maybe i’m (sadly) already burned out on school and being forced to do ‘art’ projects in my 3D design class, maybe I went long enough without being creative, i’m not sure. In the past few days alone, i’ve thought up like 5 different endeavors I want to complete, in addition to the other ongoing ones I’m slowly getting through. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do creative stuff, but it’s bad when I want to invest all of my time in those things, and little to no time in school. This week alone I didn’t study enough for a quiz, I skipped my math class because I was tired and i’m constantly behind and completely un-inspired in my design class. I shouldn’t be neglecting those things to do stupid stuff I want to do. But that’s where I feel conflicted..shouldn’t you always encourage yourself to be creative? I know it’s good for me to do that stuff, it makes me feel like I have some kind of worth. I’ve been feeling quite worthless this week, for no particular reason. Sometimes I resent school for taking away my time to do other creative stuff. I haven’t picked up my camera or even looked at any image I have taken since my photography class. I want to edit those pictures, I want to shoot film, I want to start a found photo blog, I want to make a mixed-media personal scrapbook, I want to write down a short story idea I have, I want to make re-imagined movie trailers, I want to collect all 151 Pokemon in Fire Red, I want to make silly fall crafts, I want to keep working on the book i’m writing. Why can’t I focus some of that energy on school? It’s (hopefully) my last semester at Saddleback if I can pull through, but I’m already losing interest. It’s stuff like this that makes me worry about attending a real University, even if it is as an art major. What if I get bored or resent being ‘forced’ to do creative stuff? I tend to shut down and slack off when that happens. I’m just apprehensive.

I don’t know what the point of all this is. I’m just having a creative explosion but I almost feel too guilty to indulge in it..

Maybe i’ll calm down by next week..